Dead Letters and Cursed Gems
Seven museums on the National Mall, each hiding something absurd. A flag stitched on a brewery floor by a widow and a thirteen-year-old. A cursed diamond mailed for two dollars and forty-four cents. A Leonardo da Vinci smuggled in a suitcase under an FBI codename. A college student who got a C and amended the Constitution. And the most important airplane in history, exiled to London over a grudge.
View in App — $9.99What You'll Experience
Plan your walk
Know the route before you buy
- Starts at
- Introduction
- Ends at
- The Reveal
- Walking plan
- 2h 30m · ~1.5 miles
- Schedule
- Start, pause, and resume anytime
Included in the app
- Professional narration
- GPS-triggered stops
- Downloadable tour audio
- Ask the Historian Q&A
- Optional end-of-tour reveal
- All 9 story stops
A taste of what you'll hear
9 stops, each with its own story. Here's a preview.
"You're on the National Mall. Two miles of free museums, all in a row — America's attic, open to the public, no charge. Here's what the exhibit labels don't tell you."
"The Smithsonian Castle. Look at it — red sandstone, turrets, towers. It looks like it was lifted straight out of twelfth-century England. Which is the point. The architect deliberately echoed the English collegiate Gothic tradition."
"Alright. Seven stops. Seven fakes. Let's sort them out. Grace Wisher stitching her initials into the ninth stripe of the flag. Fake. Grace was real — she sewed that flag on the brewery floor. The Smithsonian erased her for nearly two hundred years."
Tour itinerary
Every stop on this walk
Explore the route before you go. Each stop has its own story preview, location details, and place in the larger tour.
- 1Introduction Read this stop
- 2National Museum of American History Read this stop
- 3National Museum of African American History and Culture Read this stop
- 4National Museum of Natural History Read this stop
- 5Smithsonian Castle Read this stop
- 6National Archives Read this stop
- 7National Gallery of Art Read this stop
- 8National Air and Space Museum Read this stop
- 9The Reveal Read this stop
Stories first
Every stop is built around people, conflict, ambition, and consequences—not a plaque read aloud.
Most of it is true. The extra mischief is just a wink at the end, but the story is what carries the walk.
Have questions? Just ask.
Curious about something you heard? Want to know more about a place? Ask us anything — we have a lot to say. It's more fun when it's a conversation.
Ready?
Download the app, head to the starting point, and press play. The stories start themselves.
Get the AppBefore you go
Quick answers
How much is this tour?
$9.99 as a one-time purchase in the iOS app. The Washington DC city pack is $14.99 and includes every currently available tour in the city.
Can I use it with spotty cell service?
Download the tour audio on Wi-Fi before leaving. Cached narration plays without streaming; map tiles and other online features may still need a connection.
Do I have to start at a specific time?
No. Start when it suits you, pause for a detour or meal, and resume later. Check the opening hours of any venue you personally plan to enter.
Are admission tickets included?
The purchase covers the Bad Historian audio experience. Transportation, food, and admission to third-party attractions are not included.
One-time
$9.99