Fog, Fraud & Fortune Cookies
Ten landmarks. Ten lies. Good luck. Walk through a city that spent a hundred and seventy-five years doing absolutely unhinged things and then pretending they were normal. You'll see the Ferry Building that was hidden behind a freeway for thirty-two years, the sugar heir who survived a shooting because of picture books, the fake Chinatown built by architects who'd never been to China, and the crookedest street that isn't actually the crookedest street.
View in App — $9.99What You'll Experience
Plan your walk
Know the route before you buy
- Starts at
- Introduction
- Ends at
- Tour Reveal
- Walking plan
- 2h 30m at your own pace
- Schedule
- Start, pause, and resume anytime
Included in the app
- Professional narration
- GPS-triggered stops
- Downloadable tour audio
- Ask the Historian Q&A
- Optional end-of-tour reveal
- All 12 story stops
A taste of what you'll hear
12 stops, each with its own story. Here's a preview.
"You're in San Francisco. Which means you're currently standing in a city that has spent the last hundred and seventy-five years doing absolutely unhinged things and then pretending they were normal."
"Look up. That's Coit Tower — two hundred and ten feet of fluted concrete on top of Telegraph Hill. People will tell you it was designed to look like a fire hose nozzle. The architect denied it. The woman who paid for it would have loved the rumor."
"Alright. Ten stops. Ten landmarks. And you've been trying to figure out which parts I made up. Let's do this. The ferry captain refusing to sound his horn as he pulled away for the last time — she knows we're leaving? I made that up."
Tour itinerary
Every stop on this walk
Explore the route before you go. Each stop has its own story preview, location details, and place in the larger tour.
- 1Introduction Read this stop
- 2Ferry Building Read this stop
- 3Union Square Read this stop
- 4Chinatown Read this stop
- 5Cable Car Museum Read this stop
- 6City Lights Bookstore Read this stop
- 7Coit Tower Read this stop
- 8Lombard Street Read this stop
- 9Fisherman's Wharf / Pier 39 Read this stop
- 10Ghirardelli Square Read this stop
- 11Golden Gate Bridge Read this stop
- 12Tour Reveal Read this stop
Stories first
Every stop is built around people, conflict, ambition, and consequences—not a plaque read aloud.
Most of it is true. The extra mischief is just a wink at the end, but the story is what carries the walk.
Have questions? Just ask.
Curious about something you heard? Want to know more about a place? Ask us anything — we have a lot to say. It's more fun when it's a conversation.
Ready?
Download the app, head to the starting point, and press play. The stories start themselves.
Get the AppBefore you go
Quick answers
How much is this tour?
$9.99 as a one-time purchase in the iOS app. The San Francisco city pack is $14.99 and includes every currently available tour in the city.
Can I use it with spotty cell service?
Download the tour audio on Wi-Fi before leaving. Cached narration plays without streaming; map tiles and other online features may still need a connection.
Do I have to start at a specific time?
No. Start when it suits you, pause for a detour or meal, and resume later. Check the opening hours of any venue you personally plan to enter.
Are admission tickets included?
The purchase covers the Bad Historian audio experience. Transportation, food, and admission to third-party attractions are not included.
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Jackson Square
The Barbary Coast
Seven stops. Seven lies. One Emperor. Walk through the neighborhood that invented the word shanghaied — where a gang leader in chain mail was assassinated because somebody sent his bodyguard for a newspaper, tourists paid for balcony seats to watch staged depravity, and a bankrupt rice trader declared himself Emperor of the United States.
Golden Gate
The Bridge That Couldn't Be Built
The man who built the Golden Gate Bridge had never designed a suspension bridge. The man who actually did the math was erased from history for seventy-five years. Walk from a building designed to fall apart to a bridge that screams in the wind — through a military base conquered three times without a shot and an airfield restored from poison.
One-time
$9.99